“Hey, I kid because I love!” – Krusty the Clown, from The Simpsons
Every once in a while as I’m driving through the comatose streets of my adopted town – usually lamenting the lack of decent places to eat – I get a wild hair to open a vegan cafe and bakery. Mostly just to tweak the locals who consider tofu to be ethnic food and think that I’m undergoing chemo because my upper arms don’t jiggle. In a community of approximately 5,700, there are about 10 eateries, which sounds like a lot until you factor in that 50% of these have closed their doors. I don’t eat fast food, so that nixes 2 additional spots; and I can forget about finding anything at the remaining establishments that doesn’t contain some form of dead animal. There’s no-way-no-how a vegan restaurant has a prayer of making it. Period. So my wild hair shrivels and it’s back to my own kitchen where I know exactly what’s going into the loaf pan and the pot.
But if I did open a vegan restaurant, I wouldn’t tell anyone that it was vegan and I’d call it Meat World Cafe with the motto, “Even Our Cheese Has Meat!” so that no suspicions would be raised about there being such toxins as broccoli, beans, tomatoes, or tempeh in their Blue Plate Specials. To further obfuscate matters, I’d give breakfast dishes names like The Early Bird Special, You Don’t Know Jack Hash, or Honky Tonk French Toast; a typical lunch dish would be Grilled Mac ‘n’ Cheez Sandwich and dinners might include French Fry Tacos and Green Bean Casserole Pizza.
Coincidentally (except there are no coincidences, are there?), Natalie Slater has already given these names to recipes in her book, Bake & Destroy: Good Food for Bad Vegans. Exactly the kind of meals I would serve at my plant-based cafe.
Admittedly, something called a Falafel Waffle probably would get noticed. So I won’t be sharing this at my cafe. But I will share the recipe with you, courtesy of Ms. Slater.Print
- Yield: 8 1x
If it’s edible, there’s a 99 percent chance I’ve smooshed it into my waffle maker just to see what would happen. In the case of falafel, the result is a crispy-on-the-outside, soft-on-the-inside savory waffle— no deep-frying required! This hummus recipe is great with pita and veggies as well, just reduce the amount of tahini to a few tablespoons (about 30 ml). – Natalie Slater
- 2 (15-ounce [425 g]) cans chickpeas, drained and rinsed
- ¼ cup (15 g) chopped fresh parsley
- 1 small onion, minced
- 2 cloves garlic, minced
- ½ teaspoon ground coriander
- ½ teaspoon ground cumin powder
- salt and freshly ground black pepper
- 1 ½ teaspoons all-purpose flour
- 1 teaspoon baking soda
- 1 (15-ounce [425 g]) can chickpeas, drained and rinsed
- Juice from ½ lemon
- ¼ cup (60 g) tahini
- ¼ cup (60 ml) olive oil
- 1 to 2 cloves garlic
- Pinch of salt
- 1 medium-size cucumber, diced
- 1 large tomato, diced
- Juice from ½ lemon
- 1 tablespoon (15 ml) olive oil
- Salt and freshly ground black pepper
To make the falafel batter
- Use a food processor to blend the chickpeas, parsley, onion and garlic until there are no large chunks (small chunks are fine; they give the falafel texture)—you might need to do this in two or three batches. Transfer this mixture to a large bowl and stir in the coriander, cumin, salt, pepper, flour and baking soda. Refrigerate for at least 1 hour.
Make the Hummus
- While that sets up, make the hummus “syrup.” Combine all the ingredients in a food processor until you have a creamy texture. It should be looser than a typical hummus, so you can pipe it on top of the cooked waffle.
- Following the manufacturer’s directions, preheat your waffle maker and spray it with cooking spray. If you can choose a temperature, go with medium. Spoon about 1⁄3 cup (70 g) of the falafel batter into each cavity and close the cover. Cook for 12 to 15 minutes, until the outside is crispy and lightly browned.
Make the topping
- Toss the cucumber and tomato in the lemon juice and olive oil and season to taste with salt and pepper.
- Top the falafel waffle with hummus and a generous pile of tomato and cucumber. Serve warm.
- From Bake & Destroy: Good Food for Bad Vegans, by Natalie Slater. Used by permission from Page Street Publishing Co.
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I want that sammich right now. Hungry.
This book sounds a really tasty book! These falafel wafles look strange but tasty! Your other recipes, aka the endresults say: Make me & eat me right now! 🙂 Thanks!
Haha! I thought the same thing, Sophie! Strange but – yes! – very tasty.
Hilarious! I would definitely eat at your restaurant, love the picture of the cow. I also love the idea and look of those falafel waffles, they make perfect sense and sound totally delicious.
I never in a million years would’ve come up w/ falafel waffles and I was very happily surprised at how delicious they are.
Gorgeous plates in the photos – where did you get them? I love them!!
Thanks! The round one came from Turkey and the rectangular one came from TJ Maxx ;-)!
Haha! For some reason I imagined that everywhere in the US vegan food is widely available. I guess I’m used to reading about Portland and NYC! I’m sure your cunning ploy to lure all those omnis into your restaurant sounds fantastic 🙂
Thanks for sharing the Fawaffle recipe.
I live in what is affectionately (or not…) called The Flyover Region. It’s the part of the country that many Americans and most non-Americans aren’t aware of ;-). And veganism is a fairly rare thing.
I’m a bad vegan because I have such a sweet tooth it’s ridiculous! 😡
Heehee! I hear ya!
Good Food for Bad Vegans. I am kinda pushy about veganism when it comes to my family…does that make me a bad vegan? Mostly it’s just hoisting vegan treats on them with the flimsiest of excuses…”oh I need a taste tester”, “oh, it’s your half-birthday”, “oh, it’s the 30th anniversary of the first cookie eaten in space so you must eat these vegan cookies all day today”. None of them are vegan. Yet. 😉
That’s “bad” vegan behavior that is totally commendable! Heck, you’re trying to save their lives!!
Ha! It’s my sister’s birthday this weekend and she is a waffle fiend! Perfect excuse for Falafel Waffles…thank you for the superamazing recipe! So happy I signed up for your email updates…this is perfect timing. 🙂
🙂 Yay!! Happy birthday to your lucky sister!
What an AWESOME idea!!
Natalie’s book is chock full of crazy-good recipes!
This recipe is great! I want a waffle maker so I can join in the food smooshing fun!
Yes! You must get one! You’ll be making and eating waffles all of the time (just like me)!
Oh wow, I want to make those waffles! 🙂
I laughed out loud at your comment about going through chemo because your arms don’t jiggle. HAHA. So true. Also I too would love to open a vegan shop, but WITHOUT telling anyone it’s vegan. Once people hear that word the flea out of fear!
I have truly and honestly had people ask me if I was sick. Screw ’em.
These look delicious! This book is sure to be a whole lot of fun to cook from!
It’s the perfect vegan food for people who think vegan food can’t be delicious and decadent and fun.
YUM! If I don’t win the giveaway, I’m going to have to buy this cookbook- pizza muffins? I’m sold!
I know, right?! There’s all kinds of yumminess in her book…
Love the idea of a restaurant and the food items – and can semi-relate to the lack of healthy options in a town. “Semi” because my dad lives in TN and when we visit him, I know I can drive 1 hour away to get some vegan, otherwise I settle for coffee and bread.
Coffee and bread. Boy does that sound familiar ;-). Don’t forget the lame side salad without dressing…
Probably my lack of patience – it doesn’t exactly make me the most effective messenger for the cause. Errr, was that too serious an answer? 😉
Mac & cheese. My addiction to mac & cheese makes me a bad vegan!
I’ve lost count on how many different vegan mac-n-cheeses I’ve made. It’s a noble cause, I think.
So creative with that waffle! Amazing. I’d come to your restaurant any day, my friend!
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Don’t get me started Annie! When the local “vegan” option is lard fried fries and iceburg lettuce with a tomato cut into it I tend not to eat out EVER. Lucky we are penniless student hermit hippies and haven’t got the inclination to go out anyway ;). Love this recipe. Now I just need to find a waffle iron to make them in 😉
Ahh, so you feel my pain, dear Fran – though probably more acutely from the sounds of it. Lard. Truth is, it’s not all bad doing our cooking at home, is it ;-)?
Especially when 100 pigs don’t have to surrender up their winter layer for me to munch a bag of hot heart attacks 😉
I love falafel and could eat it everyday. What an innovative recipe. Now it’s time to get a waffle maker.
A waffle maker and this book and you’ll be all set ;-)!
I ate an entire bag of Zapp’s Voodoo Gumbo chips yesterday. I’m pretty sure that makes me a bad vegan.
Then you’re my kind of vegan, Terri ;-)!
What a brilliant idea to put falafel mix in the waffle maker! I love finding fun things like that! 🙂 Beautiful photos, too, btw!
I don’t think my previous comment “took”. I’m bad because I don’t make sure I’m getting a good mix of nutrients. Sometimes I’m lazy and don’t want to eat the right things, but I do try most of the time.
Most of us struggle with that. I go through phases where I just want to eat “bad” stuff, but I figure overall, I’m doing okay. Thanks for commenting!
I am a bad vegan because I don’t like nuts…everyone seems obsessed with nuts and nut butters, but I just can’t get on board with them!
Naughty vegan, Courtney!! I guess you haven’t been loving my peanut butter posts of late ;-). I promise, it’ll be over soon!
LOVE the waffle iron idea! Genius! And love falafels too…YUM…
I know! I thought Natalie was crazy. Crazy genius!
want want want!
I’m a bad vegan because I eat too many french fries and potato chips – not setting a great example :-/
Don’t beat yourself up, Jenny! Hard to resist salty treats…
I. Want. This. Book.
Mostly to show my concerned family members (who STILL don’t think I get enough protein) just how awesome eating vegan really is. That falafel waffle? WOW.
Haha! Oh your family sounds like mine. My dad recently told me that I “needed animal protein.” Sigh.
Oh my goodness! I have the exact same thoughts of opening a cafe so I could actually eat out somewhere!!! But of course the food has to be disguised so no one suspects its vegan…or there’s no customers! I confess that I’m a “bad” vegan because I let my standards slide when I eat out or when I’m a guest at someone’s house.
It’s really hard to keep those standards when out or traveling. I know that I’m not going to eat as healthfully. It’s too bad we don’t have more choices!!
I KNOW!! People don’t realize how they sound when they say something is good “even though it’s vegan.” It’s just food, for pity’s sake!!
95% is dang good!
This books looks like it has some really great recipes.
I’m a bad vegan because I don’t like peanut butter nor do I like coconut…peanut butter can be subsituted easily but coconut oil can’t a lot of the time..GRRR. I mean seriously, what’s up with that?
Coconut oil is SO popular right now – so yes – difficult to avoid these days!
Also, I signed up for e-mail updates!
Poor thing with your restaurant situation, I imagine it’s not easy to find the kind of groceries that you want, either! I used to live in the Midwest a long time ago so IKWYM.
Let me tell you…You are SO correct. I make a pilgrimage about once a month into OKC to shop at Whole Foods and stock up on all of the “weird” items I need/like. Thankfully, the local grocery has improved their produce section.
I live in a big city and that’s the same way it is in Texas… except there are vegan restos to be found if you look hard enough. I usually make everything I eat anyhow, so no worries 😉
We do have a good load of vegan restaurants and options in seattle. i just dont go there often enough because of several reasons and one of them being the kind of food is just not what i would eat.
now these meals i would gladly come to eat at your restaurant! falafel waffle yes!
I agree. More often than not I’m disappointed by restaurant meals anyway.
This is such a great giveaway!
That’s brilliant… I’m still waiting for a waffel iron.
I do need to find out that book and love the idea of the restaurant! 🙂
I would say sugar is my biggest downfall.
Corrine…I know it. My sweet tooth gets me every time!
Such an awesome giveaway!! I cannot wait to try these waffles!!!
Nicole, you’re going to love them!
Vegan cakes, cookies, and treats make me a bad vegan.
I’m in your club!
I consider myself to be more of a badass vegan than a bad vegan. I strive to live a cruelty-free lifestyle and I think I’m pretty damn good at it! However, in terms of eating “bad” vegan food, I have got a killer sweet tooth and have been on a real burger kick as of late!
Badass is good :-).
Want to try some more of the recipes!
Junk food, whether it’s sweet or salty.
I have a weakness for cheese. Thankfully, there is vegan cheese!
Phew! I know!
I don’t know if it makes me a bad vegan, but it probably makes me a bad foodie that I dislike all sea vegetables. As much as I like the idea of sushi, the nori part grosses me out and makes my stomach flip flop. Even just the sushi rice with the vinegar in it doesn’t work for me. I’ve tried so many times, but now I give up. I’ll never be a sushi-loving vegan.
What a great idea! Falafel Waffle! I need this cookbook!
I know! Who would’ve thought?!